teaser tuesday
I want so badly to be cool. I really do. I was told that Teaser Tuesday is the way to do it. Look at blogs all over the web of a Tuesday, and you’ll find teasers from scores of up-and-coming authors. It’s the only thing that mitigates the horrid suckitude of Tuesdays generally. Trust me.
So, herewith: a teaser from my work-in-progress, an as-yet untitled Elizabethan historical novel. Elizabeth Spencer is meeting the queen for the first time on the day before her marriage.
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‘Yes, a good man,’ the Queen is saying. ‘Do you want children?’
‘Of course, your Majesty.’ This is an odd question: who asks such a thing?
‘There is no ‘of course’ about it,’ the Queen says. ‘You haven’t asked me if I want children.’ She seems to take pity on Elizabeth’s terrified look. ‘But you and I are not the same.’ This last is quiet, perhaps mournful. ‘You might ask if I would trade places with you.’ Elizabeth looks around the chamber once more. The cushion beneath her is deliciously soft, the room covered in violets and greens. The books. Would Elizabeth trade places with this queen? ‘I say that I would, sometimes, but I would not. I have known enough of men. I’ve known enough of women, come to that,’ she says, and takes another comfit. Having sucked it once, she winces slightly. Elizabeth pretends not to notice: it is the Queen’s bad teeth, but she is not meant to know this. ‘I have my books. You’ve had a good education? You read?’
Elizabeth knows the answer to this. ‘Religious works, your Majesty.’
The Queen laughs. ‘No doubt you’ve been told this is a safe answer, but it is not as safe now as it once was. Do you write?’
Elizabeth swallows. ‘Letters, your Majesty. Poems - trifles, for myself.’
The Queen’s black eyes brighten. ‘That is me, too. We are more than just signatures, we Elizabeths, eh?’ She nudges Elizabeth, who again feels the power of something much stronger than a long white hand. She smiles, pleased to have said something right at last.
But the Queen is standing, now, and rising looks as simple a matter for her as was sitting. She reaches out her arm to pull Elizabeth up. Elizabeth is surprised at the strength of her: the arm looks like the branch of an elm, just as ready to break. This stops her thinking on the strangeness of the gesture.
The Queen cups Elizabeth’s face in her hands, looking carefully into first one eye, then the other, and back again. So far from being frightened, Elizabeth feels suddenly calm, loved, cared for. The Queen might be a mesmerist. ‘You are a dear girl,’ the Queen says, her voice low and quiet. ‘And George Carey is a good man. But hear this, and heed it, for I have known many women, yes?’ She smiles encouragingly; Elizabeth smiles back. ‘Do not have children straightway. Know your husband first. Keep writing your trifles. Children can wait.’ She smiles again. ‘They have waited this long for me!’ she cries, laughing, and takes her hands away. The magic is gone, and Elizabeth feels, for a moment, unsteady on her feet. ‘I may have children yet!’ the Queen says, louder still. ‘I can do it, you know.’ She winks at Elizabeth and gestures beyond the door. ‘The sycophant physicians say so. At one and forty summers. They poke and prod and tell my Council that I can bear children.’
‘I am sure you can, your Majesty.’ Elizabeth stops a moment, dares look up again into those black eyes. ‘Thank you, your Majesty. You have been so kind.’
‘Let me show you something.’ Elizabeth follows the Queen to her writing desk. The Queen plucks a fat, ancient-looking volume from the back of a pile of books. Elizabeth looks. ‘You see?’ the Queen asks. ‘It is Malory’s work. Le Morte d’Arthur. You see where the pages are fattest?’ She runs one white finger over a bloated section of pages. ‘That is Book Eleven. The story of Elaine of Astolat.’ Elizabeth reaches out to see the book more closely, but the Queen retreats, replaces it on the desk. ‘It was my mother’s,’ she says quietly. ‘She liked Book Eleven best.’ A last pause. ‘It’s enough,’ she says at length. ‘That’s enough.’
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April 7th, 2009 at 3:06 pm
I must be so uncool, because I’ve never heard of Teaser Tuesday.
I’m glad you have though, because that’s some good writing you have there.
Gary Corby’s last blog post..George Orwell on working in a bookstore
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April 7th, 2009 at 3:08 pm
You have such a gift for writing powerful women trapped by circumstance, you know that? Seriously. This is truly elegant.
sunna’s last blog post..teaser Tuesday
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April 7th, 2009 at 3:25 pm
Such a web you weave with words, missus.
Your writing style just blows me away.
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April 7th, 2009 at 3:49 pm
This is lovely, Sarah. I admire your skill in using present tense.
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April 7th, 2009 at 4:38 pm
Wonderful, Sarah! I love your use of period detail and your facility with the present tense.
One word jarred a bit with the context: mesmerist. Franz Mesmer lived in the second half of the 18th century, so “mesmerist” is not a word Elizabeth would use nor hypnotism a concept she would think of. I’m not sure what to suggest instead…charmer?
Is this from your book going out on submission or your new work? In any case, bravo! I can’t wait to read more.
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April 7th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
Thank you for all the lovely comments!
Julianne, I was TRUSTING you to find the anachronisms! Of course that was the first word to come into my head and I didn’t look it up at all. I’ll have to come up with something else. Thank you for flagging it!
This is the current work in progress, and won’t be going on sub for QUITE a while as it’s still very, very short. But it’s so lovely to have something new to work on.
Relieved too at the positive reception to present-tense. This is my first stab at it.
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April 7th, 2009 at 5:26 pm
I think you did a great job with the present tense, much better than I’m doing with it in my WIP. I was considering abandoning it, and after seeing how much more natural it sounds in your hands, I am convinced it’s not for me!
Thanks for not taking offense at the mesmerist stuff. The rest of the passage is so lovely, I just didn’t want anything to mar it.
I’ve always been amazed at how Elizabethan women, dressed in those voluminous gowns, were able to sit on the floor on pillows. I have a hard enough time getting up gracefully from the floor in jeans.
Julianne Douglas’s last blog post..Henry VIII’s Prayer Roll
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April 7th, 2009 at 5:29 pm
Beautiful writing, Sarah! The only place I paused was: Elizabeth is surprised at the strength of her: the arm looks like the branch of an elm, just as ready to break. The strong arm like an elm ranch ready to break is a contradiction, but maybe Elms are brittle trees? Other than that, your voice is very lyrical and the prose is easy to read. Lovely job!
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April 7th, 2009 at 6:14 pm
Liked the take on Q Elizabeth’s character. Interesting read in present tense. Good work!
Marissa’s last blog post..Teaser Tuesday
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April 7th, 2009 at 9:00 pm
I just wanted to check, but you’re not intending to refer to a previous Archbishop of Canterbury with your reference to George Carey?
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April 7th, 2009 at 9:06 pm
Whoa, that is awesome. I open my scenes with dates, but this was halfway through - it never occurred to me that people might read it as taking place in the 20th century! Which is to say no, this was a decidedly non-clerical George Carey (1546-1603).
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April 8th, 2009 at 1:31 am
Your characterization is fantastic, Sarah. I got a tremendous sense of both women from this short piece — I need to take notes. Beautiful prose and crisp dialog. Your use of present tense made this feel like a conversation I was overhearing.
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April 8th, 2009 at 7:06 am
Um gorgeous? Friggin unbelieveably compelling? I’d buy it at Borders if I picked it up and opened to this page?
Yes, all of those will do, I think. I have nothing to add.
Gretchen’s last blog post..Agentfail – a Response from a Non-Failing Agent
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April 9th, 2009 at 3:14 am
I have a hard time wrapping my head around the present tense (my failing, not yours), but I liked your imagery, and the interesting look at the Queen.
Kari Stewart’s last blog post..Teaser Tuesday
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May 12th, 2009 at 8:46 pm
[…] longer teaser this week, from the work-in-progress. You can find other teasers for this work here and here. As usual, comments and lambasts are […]